Conflicted Read online

  “It’s alright, baby girl. How are you? What are you doing here so early?” Connie smiles at her and points to me.

  “I brought you a surprise.” My mom slowly turns her head, and the second she sees me, she starts to cry.

  “Oh, Keith. My boy is home.” She holds open her arms and I walk over and gently hug her. I don’t want to cause her any more pain. “Connie and Karen told me they called you. I did what you wanted. I pressed charges, but I’m scared Keith. He’s never been violent before. I don’t know what to do anymore.” She is whispering in my ear, and I assume it’s so Connie can’t hear.

  “Mom, I’m here now. I’ll take care of everything. The important thing is, you get better.” She squeezes me harder, and I feel myself choking up. This is my mom, the woman who sacrificed so much for me growing up, and she is a beaten mess. I close my eyes tightly, fighting back the tears that want to escape.

  After I feel like I have a hold on my emotions, I pull away. My mom looks at me through her tears and smiles. “You look amazing. New York suits you.” I chuckle but quickly stop when she tries to sit up, and I clearly see the pain on her face. I reach out and help her. “Thanks, sweetheart. So, how long are you staying?” I sit down next to Connie and smile at her. I didn’t even tell her how long I was staying.

  “I’m staying for three months.” Connie whips her head toward me with a huge smile, and my mom lets a tear fall.

  “Holy shit, three months.” I grin and just nod my head.

  “We have a lot to talk about, but that can wait. Mom, you need to eat something. Connie and I will go pick up a pizza and be back shortly. Do you need anything else while I’m out?” She smiles at me and shakes her head.

  “No, sweetheart, Karen picked everything up yesterday, but thank you.” I get up and kiss her forehead before we head out.

  When Connie and I get back with the pizza, my mom is sitting on the couch with a blanket. “Mom, you didn’t need to get out of bed. I would have brought the pizza to you.” She lightly laughs.

  “No, I’m not supposed to be in bed all day. Dr. Neilson said that’s how blood clots happen. I need to move around. Let’s eat in here though.” Connie sits next to my mom, and I carry the pizza into the kitchen. I look around at how beat up this whole house is. I hate my mom and Karen living here. I need to figure out a way to get them to move. I blow out a breath and take out three plates. I have time to figure that out. After we eat, I’m going to head to the police station and make sure everything is taken care of. I want her to have a restraining order and to file for divorce. I know all these things are going to be hard for her, but it is the only way to ensure her safety because once he gets out, if they are still married, he has every right to be back here. I realize I’m being a cop and not a son, so I put pizza on the plates and bring it to the living room.

  The three of us talk and laugh for the next hour. They told me how Karen is doing in school, and we talk about our non-existent love lives and of my friends. Finally, Karen walks in the door and does a double take when she sees me. “Holy shit, Keith!” She runs over, and I pick her up and hug her the same way I hugged Connie at the airport. “I’m so glad you’re here. It’s been a living nightmare.” I squeeze her hard before I finally put her down.

  “Me too.” I don’t say anything else because I don’t want mom to know how awful this has been for the girls. She’s always tried to protect us, and now it’s our turn. “So, listen, I’ve got some running around to do. Connie, can I use your car?” She grabs her purse and throws me the keys.

  “Don’t drive like an asshole.” I grin at her and tilt my head.

  “No promises.” I walk out the front door with her yelling my name and laughing. Damn, it’s good to be home.

  After hours of dealing with the local police, they finally told me that my father would be in jail for quite a while. I need to bring my mom down when she’s up to it to fill out the restraining order, and believe me, I will have her down here as soon as possible. I called Connie to see if mom needed food in the house, so I ended up stopping at the food store. I’m finally on my way back, and I’m going to make them steak and potatoes for dinner.

  I park and go into the backseat to start bringing the bags inside. “Hey.” I spin around quickly and scare the shit out of the guy standing here. “Shit, sorry man. I’m Doug, Karen’s boyfriend. You must be Keith.” So, Karen has a boyfriend. Seems they forgot to tell me that. I stick out my free hand to shake his.

  “Hey, man, yea, I’m Keith. So, how long have you been dating my baby sister?” He gets a cocky grin, and I immediately think of Young. This prick had better not be anything like Young, I’ll fucking kill him myself.

  “We’ve been dating for about two months. She’s the best thing to ever happen to me.” No shit. Any guy would be lucky to get one of my sisters; they just better be the right guy.

  “That’s great. Hey, you mind giving me a hand with these groceries?” He jumps right in, grabbing as many bags as possible. I smirk, thinking this guy is trying to impress me. I like that. We get all the bags inside, and when Karen comes out of her room, freshly showered and dressed a bit too revealing for my liking, I shoot her a look. She laughs and kisses my cheek.

  “I see you met Doug.” I cock my eyebrow at her, and she laughs harder. She completely ignores it and goes to Doug. They wrap their arms around each other and begin whispering. I can see in their faces that they love each other. I’m so fuckin’ happy for her, yet I feel like she is too young for any of this.

  “Hey, big brother, let me help you.” Connie breaks me out of my trance, and we start putting everything away.

  “Doug, are you staying for dinner?” Karen pulls out of his arms and looks at me.

  “Keith, we had plans tonight. Can we take a rain check?” Even my baby sister has a more exciting love life than I do. I smile and nod.

  “Of course. Be careful, and don’t do anything stupid.” She laughs, but I can see Doug is taken back a bit. I mentally high five myself for being able to scare him. Connie looks at me, giggles, and shakes her head. I just smile and finish putting the food away.

  It’s been two weeks since Dick left, and I can’t believe how much we all miss him already. We’ve talked to him a few times, but it’s not the same. When the six of us aren’t together, it’s like a member of the family is missing. I’ll be honest, I think him not being here has made things between us much easier, not that we would ever go down that road again, but I don’t know how comfortable it would be when we start seeing someone new. Jeff asked me out to dinner tonight, and I can’t wait. I’ve been attracted to him since the minute I saw him. I met him a few months before Dick and I got together. There has always been a sexual tension between us, but it was something neither of us acted on. When he came into my office earlier and asked if I’d like to have dinner, I felt it, the butterflies. I can’t tell you how long it’s been. This is the reason why I’m glad Dick isn’t around. I would feel like I’m rubbing it in his face. I never want to hurt him.

  I finish getting ready and walk into the living room. “Fuck, Becca, this guy is going to have a hard-on all night. You look hot.” I laugh at Maddie, but the compliment feels good.

  “Where are you guys going?” I am putting my phone in my purse and turn to look at Kenz, who is busy in the kitchen making dinner.

  “He’s taking me to that new sushi restaurant.”

  “What? Fucking bitch. Young better take me there soon. I’ve heard amazing things about it.” I walk into the kitchen and lean on the counter.

  “Girls, you don’t think it’s too soon, do you?” Maddie walks into the kitchen, and Kenz pulls off her oven mitts.

  “Becca, you and Dick had something for a while, but it didn’t work. You don’t need to feel guilty about wanting to see someone else. There is no time limit on when the best time to do that is. If you like this guy and want to see where it goes, there is nothing wrong with that. You have our full support, and you know damn well Dick would be
fine with it too.” I know Kenz is right. I think that sometimes it’s nice to hear that reassurance.

  “Bitch, listen. You and Dick weren’t meant to be. It’s time to move on and find Mr. Right. Not to mention, I’m sure it’s been a while since you’ve fucked, so it’s time.” I look at Maddie with wide eyes.

  “Damn, Maddie, thanks for breaking it down so nicely for me.” She gives me a hug and laughs.

  “Anytime. That’s what I’m here for. So, when sexy-as-sin Jeff gets here, you go have a great time and make sure he puts on a condom.” She and Kenz laugh, and as much as I try not to, I eventually join them.

  “Thanks, girls. What would I do without you?”

  “Damned if I know.” Maddie has a way with words, just like Young.

  I’ve been here two weeks already. Time is going by so quickly. However, I did get a lot done. My mom got the restraining order and called a lawyer about a divorce. I’ve cleaned up outside and done some minor repairs to the house. Inside, I hired a cleaning service, and they came in and cleaned the shit out of it. It looks amazing.

  Karen has brought Doug around pretty much every day, and I hate to admit it, but I actually like the guy. He treats her good, he is respectful, and he is funny as hell. He reminds me a lot of Campbell, and that’s a fucking great thing. My mom is doing much better physically, but we’ve talked a few times about how nervous she is for when I leave. I haven’t brought up moving just yet, but I’m going to soon. I’ve been piling enough on her plate.

  I figured since my mom and Connie are working and Karen is in school, I would pay a visit to dear old dad. I want him to know I’m here, and it’s not just my mom handling things. He’s always hated me, but since I’ve become a cop, he despises me. I represent everything he hates, and I fucking love it. All my life I wanted him to fear me, and now he does. I’m sure going to see him is not the best idea, but I just need to tell him myself what a worthless piece of shit he is.

  I climb into Karen’s car and push the key in the ignition. I throw it into drive and make my way to KT Jail. It’s only a half-hour drive, and I’m there before I know it. I park the car and quickly get out. I have this overwhelming urge to confront him now. I go into the jail and through the metal detectors. Once I’m cleared, I go to the desk where a huge tattooed guy is sitting. “Hey, man. I’m here to see Mitch Dickson.” He looks me over like I’m a piece of shit, and I want to punch him in the throat. “Problem?” He raises his eyebrows, and I do the same.

  “You old man Dickson’s kid?” I fucking hate having to admit that I am; every part of me wants to say fuck no, but I don’t.

  “Yea.” He nods his head and flips open the sign-in book.

  “Real shame about your mama. I’m sorry ‘bout that.” Who the fuck is this guy? How does he know so much about my family?

  “I don’t mean to sound rude, but who the hell are you?” He spins the book around for me to sign and grins.

  “I’m Harley. I used to hang out with your sister Connie.” I sign my name and look up at him with my eyebrow cocked.

  “Oh yea? Well I’m Keith, her cop brother.” He laughs and puts the book away.

  “Relax, we only screwed around.” I want to punch this fucking asshole in his mouth talking like that about my sister. I’m going to have a long talk with her when she gets home. If this is the type of guy she is seeing, no wonder she hasn’t found anyone.

  “Yea, thanks for that information.” He walks me over to a closed door.

  “Go in here, down the hall to the left, and you’ll see the visiting area. Pick whatever phone you want, and he’ll be down shortly.” I just nod my head and open the door. “Hey, Keith?” I turn my head to look at him. “Tell Connie to give me a call sometime.” I turn and let the door slam. Yea, that’s never going to fucking happen.

  I make my way to the visiting area and take my seat at a phone. I’m so damn wound up now between my dad and this jerk-off Connie used to screw. What the hell is wrong with her? She’s gorgeous, smart, and funny. She doesn’t need to date guys like Harley. He reminds me of my dad, which really pisses me off. She’s bound to head in the same direction as my mom. This town is toxic for my family. The slamming of a door breaks into my thoughts. I look up and see my dad looking at me with wide eyes. I pick up the phone and point to the seat on the other side of the glass. He looks behind him like someone is going to help him. When he realizes no one is there but him, he slowly makes his way over. He sits down and picks up the phone. “What the hell are you doing here?” My blood starts to boil.

  “I thought I’d come pay a visit to my piece of shit, wife-beating daddy. How’s it going, old man?” I see the look of absolute rage in his eyes, and I smirk at him.

  “You think you can come here and talk to me like that? I’m your father, God damnit.” I actually laugh at that. He’s got to be fucking kidding.

  “You should be thankful we have glass separating us, because if we didn’t, I’d show you just how little respect I have for you.” He stands up and hits the glass. I just tilt my head to the side and smirk again. A guard comes in and tells him to sit down and relax. He angrily sits back down and puts the phone back to his ear.

  “What the fuck do you want, Keith?” Seems the fight is leaving the old bastard.

  “I just wanted you to know I’m here. I’m here to take care of MY family and to make sure you pay for what you did. I wanted to come and see you just to let you know that once I walk out the door, you are dead to me. You are a fucking coward who never wanted to get help for your drinking problem. You made all of our lives fucking miserable, and from here on out, that changes. You can be damn sure when you get out of here, you will have no one to go home to. Mark my words, old man; I’m the last family member you’ll ever see.” I hang up the phone and get up. He is hitting the glass trying to get me to pick the phone back up. Fuck him. I walk over to the door and right out of it. That will be the last time he ever lays eyes on me.

  When I got home, I needed to talk to someone. I had too much anger boiling up inside of me. I sit down on the front porch and call Campbell. “Hey, man, everything alright?” I smile knowing how much they all care about me.

  “No, actually, it’s not. I just got back from visiting my dad in jail.” He’s quiet for a minute, and I know he is trying to choose his words carefully.

  “Dick, why? Why would you go do that? You are always the levelheaded one. You had to know going in that it was going to be bad.” I blow out a breath and pinch the bridge of my nose.

  “Of course, I fucking knew that. I had to do it, Campbell. It was like closure to me. I needed to tell him what a piece of shit he is and that he is dead to me. I wanted him to know I was here.” This time, he blows out a breath, and I am sure he is pacing too.

  “Listen, man, I get it alright. I just don’t like the fact that you have to go through this. I wish we could be out there with you.” I laugh and look around. They are better off in New York.

  “I know, man. I miss you guys, and I appreciate you worrying, but I had to do it. So, get my mind off this shit. Did you get a ring yet?” I can actually hear the smile in his voice.

  “I got it. I’ll text you a picture later. It’s fucking perfect.” I smile. I am so fucking happy for him. That is going to be one kickass wedding.

  “Have you decided when and how you’re going to do it?” I get up and go inside to get a bottle of water.

  “Remember our first date and the carriage ride?” I gulp down some water and put it on the counter.

  “Of course, I think we all remember that.” We both laugh.

  “Well, I recreated that for our one-year anniversary, and I’m going to do it again. Only this time, I’m going to have the carriage drop us off in the middle of Central Park where I’ll have a blanket, champagne, and candles all ready.” This son of a bitch is so romantic.

  “Campbell, she is going to love that. When are you doing it?” My heart starts to sink because I know it will happen while I’m gone. I fucking
wish I could be there to celebrate with them.

  “In two weeks. I’m sorry, Dick, but I had to do it while the weather was still warm and when I could get it all set up.”

  “Hey, don’t be sorry. You guys deserve this. It’s no one’s fault I can’t be there. When I get home, we will fucking celebrate.” I wish I felt as upbeat as I sound. This is a moment with my best friends I will never get back.

  “Thanks, man. You know we will celebrate as soon as you get home. I’m sure Kenz will be calling you with the news anyway.” I smile, thinking of how happy she is going to be.

  “I can’t wait.” I hear someone talking in the background and know he needs to go. “Campbell, go, man. I’m good now. Thanks for everything.”

  “Dick, you never need to thank me for being your friend. I’ll call you in the next day or so and check in. Have some fun while you’re out there.” He laughs and I hang up.

  I end up making my mom and Karen dinner, and when they get home, it’s ready. My mom comes in first. “Smells amazing in here, Keith.” She comes into the kitchen and kisses my cheek.

  “Thanks, Mom. I’m cooking a whole chicken for dinner.” She goes and opens the oven to have a peek.

  “So, you want to tell me why you thought it was a good idea to go visit your dad today?” I freeze in place. Shit, I didn’t want her to know.

  “Who the fuck told you?” She hits me with a dishtowel, and son of a bitch, it hurt.

  “Don’t say the ‘F’ word to me. Harley told his mom, and she told me. It’s a small town, Keith, I think you forget that sometimes.” Fuck, she’s right. I do forget. In New York, I wouldn’t have to worry about this shit. Everyone here knows everyone’s business.

  “Hey, that guy Harley, I don’t like him. Keep him away from Connie.” She crosses her arms and smiles at me.

  “Keith, stop avoiding the question. Why did you go see him today?” I scrub my face and lean back on the counter.