Behind the Lens Read online

  The rest of the week consisted of two shoots and a ton of editing, and of course, being with Jax. Even though I’m exhausted today, I’m excited because today is the shoot for Karen. She is going to meet Jax, Brinley, and I up at the park. I’ve got everything packed up, and I’m waiting for Jax to get here. Brody was nice enough to let him off work early, and I’m so grateful because it was the only time Karen could meet with us. I look down and check my bag, making sure I have everything I need. After seeing everything is there, I grab a hair tie out of the bathroom and stick it on my wrist. I go out into the living room and scream when I see Jax standing there. “Christ, you scared the shit out of me.” He laughs and pulls me in for a hug. He smells amazing, and being wrapped in his arms is like coming home. He kisses my lips, and I smile at him.

  “You ready to get out of here?” I nod and he kisses me again. He grabs my bag, and I get my purse and phone. We make our way to his car, and once we are settled in, he starts it and backs out of the spot before throwing it into drive. Once we get on the road, he rests his hand on my thigh, and I place mine on top of it. “Brinley is meeting us there, right?” I break my stare out the side window and look at him.

  “Yes, she’s meeting us and so is Karen, the author. I’m excited to have her input for this.” He glances at me quickly before focusing back on the road.

  “You should be. This is a big deal. Did she give you any ideas of what she was looking for?” We continue talking about the shoot most of the ride. I tell him that she wants it sexy and romantic. I figured being by the waterfall would be a great place. “Oh, I forgot to tell you. Tomorrow night, I’m going out with the guys.” I smile and squeeze his hand.

  “Alright, maybe I can get Brinley and the girls to come over so I’m not lonely in my bed.” He snaps his head to me with wide eyes, and I laugh. “Not like that, you damn perv. I meant I’m used to having you in bed with me.” He moves his hand higher up my thigh, and I stop him before he can get too close to my pussy. The last thing I need is to have wet panties through the entire shoot.

  “Who said I wasn’t coming home to your bed?” I can’t help the ridiculous smile that spreads across my face.

  “I just figured you’d get drunk and go home.” He stops at a light and leans over to kiss me.

  “Baby, I’m only home when I’m with you.” Damn, my heart can’t take this romantic guy sometimes. “Plus, drunk sex with you is fucking amazing.” I laugh and smack his chest right as the light turns green. He laughs and rubs his chest before placing his hand back on the wheel.

  “Damn, you want me marked up when I have to take my shirt off?” We both laugh, and I kiss his bicep.

  “I can edit it out, don’t worry.” The rest of the ride, we talk about what else we did today. When we pull into the parking lot, I look around to see if Karen or Brinley are here yet. I see Karen standing outside her car and tell Jax to go park closer to her. He does and we climb out. He gets my bag out of the backseat, and I take it from him. I know he wants to help, but he doesn’t understand that I still need to be professional when it comes to shoots. I can’t have my sexy model boyfriend assisting me. He lights a cigarette, and I walk over to Karen to introduce myself. “Hi, Karen, I’m Kallie. It’s such a pleasure to meet you.” She gives me a huge smile and pulls me in for a hug.

  “I’m so excited to finally meet you. I’ve been looking forward to this all week.” We talk for a few minutes, and I tell her about the waterfall, and she is nearly bursting with excitement. It makes me so happy. Jax walks over and I smile at him.

  “Karen, this is Jax. Jax, Karen.” She shakes his hand and gives him a huge smile.

  “Not going to lie, you are even better looking in real life.” I bite back my laugh, while he thanks her. “So, we are just waiting for Brinley?” I start getting a bit nervous, feeling like it’s my party all over again, when Brinley pulls up. I breathe out a sigh of relief and wave her over when she gets out of her car. She looks incredible, sexy short black dress, hair styled to perfection, as well as her makeup. She has on bright red heels that make her lips pop. Exquisite.

  “Hey, Brin.” I give her a quick hug and turn back to Karen. I introduce them, and we start making our way back to the waterfall. I don’t know how Brinley walks through all the trails in those heels, but she doesn’t even bat an eyelash; she is a damn pro. We make it to the spot, and I place my bag down. “Alright, so let’s just start with a few shots standing in front of the lake before we move closer to the waterfall.” I turn to Karen for approval, and she nods her head excitedly. I get my camera out and place the strap around my neck. We get closer to the water, and since Jax and Brinley are professionals, they know exactly where to stop without me even needing to say. “I want to do a few different ones here. Jax, get behind her and wrap your arms around her. Brin, head back and turned.” Once again, they just know exactly what I’m looking for. Seeing Jax with his colorful, muscular arms around Brinley, her head resting against him, is a little harder than I thought. I shake my head and remind myself this is a job, for all of us. I take several angles of them before he turns her and runs his hands down to her ass, and she grips onto his shirt. They look into each other’s eyes, and holy shit, it’s a sexy shot.

  “Wow, that is amazing,” I hear Karen say under her breath, and it just motivates me more. I don’t need to give much instruction; they both know how to make each shot sexy as hell.

  “Jax, pull Brinley’s leg up, and keep your hand on her thigh.” They do, and making it even hotter, Jax dips her back a bit and kisses her neck. “Brilliant, guys. Let’s head over to the waterfall. Well, I actually need you to change, Brin. You brought shorts and a tank, right?” She pulls the dress over her head and tosses it at me. I laugh, loving that she had it on under the dress. “Alright then.” Karen walks over with Brinley, and I go get my bag. I turn around, and Jax is smiling down at me. “What are you doing?” I smirk at him and he winks.

  “Checking on my girl. You good?” My smile gets wide, and I reach out to squeeze his hand.

  “At first, I’ll admit it was a little weird, but I promise, it’s good now. It’s work, for all of us.” He tilts his head, searching my eyes. “I promise.” He leans in to kiss my lips, and I back up. “Not while we are working.” He chuckles and shakes his head.

  “Yes, ma’am.” We walk over to the waterfall, and when we get there, I tell Jax to lose his shirt. Just looking at him ordinarily is hard enough, but looking at his solid body in our element, well, it’s hot as shit. We do several shots with the waterfall in the background, and then I tell them it’s time to get in the water. Jax kicks off his shoes and starts walking out. “Holy shit, it’s cold.” I laugh when Brinley looks at me with wide eyes.

  “I’m coming in too, so shut it and get in there.” She mumbles under her breath as she steps into the water.

  “Fuck, it’s not cold, it’s freezing.” I laugh again as I take my shoes off.

  “So, you actually get into the water with them?” I smile at Karen and pull my hair into a ponytail.

  “Yes. I can get a much better shot if I’m in the water with them.” She reaches into her pocket and pulls out her phone. “Would it be alright if I took a picture or two of the behind the scenes?” I start making my way to the water and nod my head.

  “Absolutely.” I step into the water, and they weren’t kidding, it is fucking freezing. “Oh my God. It is freezing.” Brinley laughs, and Jax looks at me with concern. I lightly shake my head when he starts to make his way over to me. I can tell he’s annoyed, but this isn’t the time or place. I’ve done this countless times. With my teeth chattering, I look at them. “Only a few in here, then we will be done. Jax, look at the waterfall with your back to Brinley. Brin, put your hands on his back and kiss it.” They do it, and even though I’m freezing, I am loving the outcome. “Perfect. Jax stay like that, Brin wrap your arms around his waist.” She does, and I move around in the water, which feels like little needles it’s so cold, and get different a
ngles. I tell Jax to turn around and pull Brinley into his arms. He does and damn, it’s hot. He rests his forehead on hers, tangles his hands in her hair, and rests her head on his chest. All so incredibly sexy. “Last shot, guys. Jax, pick up Brinley. Brin wrap your legs around his waist and hold onto his neck.” They do and I love the look. “I want this more playful, guys, smiling, laughing.” Twenty different angles, and we are finally done. “Perfection. Let’s get out of here.”

  “Holy shit, thank God. I can’t feel my legs.” Brinley rushes out of the water, splashing it all over. I start toward the shore, and I feel Jax close to me so I look over.

  “You alright, baby? Cold?” I’m shivering, and my legs hurt from the cold water, walking is even difficult.

  “I’m fucking freezing and my legs hurt.” He scoops me up into his arms, and I want to yell, but I laugh instead. I know damn well Karen got a photo of it, but there is nothing wrong with a model goofing around with a photographer. He quickly gets us out of the water, and Brinley tosses us each a towel. “Well, Karen, what did you think?” I can still see the excitement in her eyes.

  “Kallie, this was amazing. I can’t wait to see how they turn out, but I already know it’s going to be hard as hell to pick one.” Best compliment a photographer can get. “So, you all seem really close, are you good friends?”

  “Yes, we are all very good friends.” She smiles and puts her phone away.

  “You can tell. You all work very well together.” I am dying to get back to the car and have Jax blast the heat on my legs, so I start packing up while Jax is having a smoke and talking to Brinley.

  “Thank you.” I pack everything away and smile at her. “You ready?” She nods her head, and I say the same to Jax and Brinley. They start walking, and I follow behind with Karen. “I’ll have the proofs ready in a few days, and you can look at them and decide what you want.” She thanks me, and we hurry to make it to the parking lot before the sun goes down.

  “Kallie, thank you for letting me be a part of this today. It was amazing.” I give her a hug, and she thanks Jax and Brinley as well. She turns back to me before getting into her car and smiles. “I’m sure we will be doing this again soon.” I about burst with excitement, but I calm myself and thank her. She gets in the car, and I walk over to Jax and Brinley.

  “You guys kicked ass today. Seriously amazing shots.” Jax doesn’t say anything, but takes my bag and puts it in the back seat. Brinley pulls me in for a hug.

  “I think your guy is upset about something. Good luck.” I pull back and look at her. She lifts her shoulders, and I look over at him. He does look kind of pissed, and I wonder what the hell for.

  “Thanks. Oh hey, you and the girls want to come over tomorrow night for some food and drinks?” She agrees and says she’ll call me tomorrow to figure it all out. When she gets to her car, I turn and open the passenger side door, when Jax gets in. I sit down and put my seat belt on. Yikes, I can feel the tension swirling around in here. “I thought the shoot went really well. What about you?” He puts the car in drive and keeps both hands on the wheel.

  “Yep, went great.” I don’t know what to say, so for most of the ride, I just sit quietly looking out the window. I am going over the shoot in my head, and I can’t figure out what would have gotten him pissed. The longer I think about it, the more annoyed I get. It makes no sense. Everything went well; there is nothing that should have gotten him upset with me. I can’t take it. I turn my head and look at him.

  “What’s your problem?” I see him grip the steering wheel tighter and prepare myself for our first fight.

  “Nothing, buddy.” I dip my brows in confusion.

  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” He shoots a quick glance at me, and I can see the hurt in his eyes.

  “It means we are good friends. That’s what you told Karen, isn’t it? That we are good friends?” I roll my eyes and let out a sigh.

  “You’re kidding, right?” He lets out a humorless laugh and looks over at me again.

  “Well, that’s what you said.” Unfuckingbelievable.

  “Jax, what did you want me to say? That we are together? She doesn’t need to know our business.” I can see his chest moving rapidly, and honestly, I don’t see what the big fucking deal is.

  “Kallie, I don’t fucking get you. I want to fucking shout it out to the world that I am with you, and you want to tuck me away like a dirty secret.” Ouch, that is not how I want him to feel, that’s not how I feel. He is making too big of a deal over this.

  “Jax, I don’t feel that way at all. I don’t at all think of you as a dirty secret, I can’t even believe you would think that way.” He stops at a light and turns to look at me.

  “I realize that you don’t want our relationship to hurt your career, but fuck, how are we supposed to make it work if you are hiding it?” I twist my hands together, looking down at my lap.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m not embarrassed to be with you, shit, have you seen yourself? I just don’t want to be judged.” He shakes his head and takes off way too quickly when the light changes.

  “You’ll always be judged, I’ll always be judged. When you are in the spotlight, that is what happens. You need to learn how to deal with it because this doesn’t stand a fucking chance if you don’t.” I know he’s right, but I don’t want to be judged. I don’t want people thinking I fuck my models.

  “I’m sorry. You’re right. It is something I need to work on.” He glances at me, and I already see the change.

  “Look, I know this isn’t easy. You broke all your rules for me; without trying to sound conceited, I’m popular. I understand you being nervous, but you can’t say you love me and then act like we are only friends when people are around. I don’t work that way. I already told you, what we have is not like the fucking around the rest of them do.” He blows out a breath, and I reach over, resting my hand on his leg. He looks down at it before looking over at me.

  “I get it, alright. It was fucked up of me, and it’s something that I need to work on. I’m sorry I made you feel like shit, it was not my intention. You’re right, it’s not easy for me, not when I’ve believed one thing for so long, but I won’t do that again. I do love you, and I never want to do something to hurt you.” He brings down his hand and links our fingers together.

  “I love you too, baby. I just don’t want anything to stand in our way because it’s going to come out, and when it does, I want you to be able to hold your head high and say fuck you, we are in love. I’ll tell you right now, that’s what I’ll be doing.” I smile and look at him, hoping that it is a long way down the road before that happens.

  After the shoot and the argument, Jax showed me just how much he loves me, a few times and once this morning. He left to go to the gym before getting ready for his guys’ night out. I got ahold of Brinley, and we made plans for the girls to come hang out here for a few hours for some food and drinks. That’s what we are doing now, getting drunk. “Kallie, come on, give us just a little something.” Right, and they are all trying to get me to talk about sex with Jax.

  “Alright, alright.” They all turn to me with smiles on their faces. I get a huge smile and giggle a little. “You bitches should be jealous, that’s all I’m saying.” They all moan, and I am hit with a few pillows while I crawl in a ball to avoid it all, laughing.

  “Shit, we really need to head out, guys. I have a shoot in the morning.” Damn, I hate for them to leave; we were having such a good time. It’s been way too long since we all hung out like this. I understand though, we all have such busy lives. They all toss back the rest of their drinks while Nora calls a cab to come get them.

  “I had a great time tonight. We definitely need to do this again, soon.” Jackie puts her arm around me, and I lay my head on her shoulder.

  “We definitely need to get together more. I miss you guys, but tonight was fucking awesome. Hopefully I’ll be able to get a booty call in too.” I laugh at Nora and lo
ok over at Brinley. She shakes her head, letting me know she hasn’t been with anyone, and I smile.

  Once they all leave, I change out of my clothes and climb into bed in just my bra and panties. I can’t even be bothered to get my pajamas on. I’m tired and pretty drunk. I lie down and check my phone to see if Jax texted me. Nothing. I’ll admit I was hoping to hear from him at some point. I talked to him before he left, and I even texted him a picture earlier, but nothing back. I put my phone on my nightstand and roll onto my side. My bed definitely feels empty without him. I reach out, feeling the empty spot, and fall asleep shortly after.

  I wake up to my phone ringing. I look at the time and see it is only six in the morning. I groan and feel around for my phone. When I find it, I hit talk. “Hello?” My voice is groggy with sleep so I clear my throat.

  “Damn it, Kallie. I’ve been trying to get a hold of you.” I sit up quickly and realize I’m still in bed alone.

  “Jax? What’s wrong?” He blows out a breath, and my heart starts pounding in my chest.

  “Baby, it’s time to say fuck you.” I feel like the wind is knocked out of me. Oh God, no. I kick the covers off me and rush to my computer. It doesn’t occur to me to even check my phone, I’m so nervous. “Kallie, you alright?” I’m breathing heavily while the computer loads.

  “I don’t know.” I’m sure that’s not what he wants to hear, but I honestly don’t know. I sign into Facebook, and it is all over. Pictures of Jax and me at the club, kissing, when he picked me up on the dance floor, when we leave holding hands. Pictures of us out to dinner, pictures of just Jax, just me. Comment after comment. ‘No wonder Kallie Gregory gets all the good models, she fucks them.’ ‘Jax Burke has lowered his standards.’ ‘Photographer using sex to land big models.’ I see I have seventy-two inbox messages, and I’m terrified to look at my email.