Conflicted

  Conflicted (Book Three Of The Change Series)

  Copyright © 2015 Heather Dahlgren

  Cover Design: MGbookcovers

  Editor: Kelly Hartigan (XterraWeb)

  Editing.xterraweb.com

  Formatting: Stacey Blake, Champagne Formats

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by an information and retrieval system without express written permission from the Author/Publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Table of Contents

  Other Books by Heather Dahlgren

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  Playlist

  About the Author

  The Center Of His World—Coming Soon

  Chapter 2

  An Exexpected Forever by Kaydee Mavericks

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Other Books by Heather Dahlgren

  The Change Series

  Changed

  Committment

  Dancing Hearts

  I hear the front door slam, and I sit up quickly in bed. I hate when my dad goes out because he always comes home . . . drunk. It’s always the same. He comes home drunk, fights with my mom, and usually, the cops show up. That’s when he makes it home from the bar. My dad has been arrested more times than I can count. Bar fights, drinking and driving, car accidents, and, of course, fighting with my mom. He’s actually just been home for a week. When he is released from jail, he is usually good for a few days, swearing he will never drink again. He lies.

  “Why the fuck is my dinner cold?” My hands automatically fist at my side. I hate how he treats my mom. I want nothing more than to run out there and beat the crap out of him. However, being only thirteen years old, I know I don’t stand a chance. He’s never hit my mom or my sisters and I, but I know how unpredictable he is when he is drinking. I hear glass breaking, and I know he’s thrown his plate of food on the kitchen floor. “Is it too much to ask for a hot dinner?”

  “Mitch, please keep your voice down. You are going to wake up the kids and scare them. Why don’t you let me fix you something else to eat and get you some coffee?” My mom is the most amazing person in this world. She does everything for my sisters and me. She has to work two jobs because my dad is unable to hold a job due to being in and out of jail. She makes sure we have clean clothes, food, and smiles on our faces. We don’t have money, but she gives us everything we need. When my dad is in jail, we are a much happier family. We watch movies at night, all cuddled on the couch. When he’s not around, I’m the man of the house. Even when he is around, I feel like I’m still the man of the house, but he makes it hard for everyone.

  “Gloria, those kids are sound asleep. I’m not waking anyone up. Now, where the fuck is my dinner?” He is yelling so loudly now, and, of course, I hear more things breaking. “Don’t start with the fucking tears. Just make me something to eat.” I shake my head, staring at my closed door. I want nothing more than to protect my family, to have my dad stay in jail, away from us. If I were a policeman, I would make sure that all bad guys like him go to jail for a long time.

  “Sit down, Mitch. You are going to hurt yourself.” This time, the loud bang I hear makes me think he’s probably knocked over the kitchen table.

  “Don’t fucking tell me what to do!” My door flies open, and my sisters come running in. My sister Connie is only a year younger then I am, but she still gets nervous. My sister Karen is only six. She is already crying before she even climbs in my bed. I jump up to close my door, because I don’t need my dad knowing we are awake.

  “Keith, why does Daddy have to be so mean?” When my baby sister says things like this, it breaks my heart and makes me want to break his nose. I will never understand why he can’t either get the help he needs or just leave. He’s miserable here, and he makes us miserable. I walk back over toward my bed where the girls are now lying down. I pull my chair over and sit down looking over at them.

  “I don’t know, Karen. How about I tell you a story about a magical little girl?” She gives me her toothless smile and snuggles down onto my pillows.

  “I love that story, Keith.” For the next twenty minutes, I tell her a story about a magical little girl who plays with fairies and rides unicorns. I keep talking to try to drown out the yelling coming from the kitchen. Finally, I notice she is sound asleep, and I look over at Connie.

  “He’s such an asshole. Why does he bother coming home?” I shake my head and sigh.

  “I know he is. He comes home because where the hell else is he going to go? He wants Mom to take care of him.” It’s true. I don’t think he even knows how to turn the oven on.

  “Then why is he still yelling?” There is a knock at the door, and I know the cops have finally been called. Connie looks at me with wide eyes.

  “Don’t worry, it’s the cops. They are going to take him back to jail. At least we will have a few days without him.” She shakes her head slowly. Connie gets upset when they are fighting, but I know deep down she wants my dad’s love and attention. I’m only a year older, but I know that will never happen. We are nothing but ‘in the way,’ according to him. That will not change, not unless he gets help.

  I get up out of my chair, walk over to the door, and crack it open just enough so I can see what’s happening. I see my mom crying, talking to one cop, and my dad being pulled aside by another. It’s so unfair that this is the life my mom and sisters have to live. I can’t wait until I am an adult, and I can take care of all of them. I would make sure none of them ever cried or got scared again. I would make sure my dad stayed away from them, even if I had to move them away.

  I stand there and continue to watch as my dad starts screaming, throwing things, and trying to hit the cops. My mom is sobbing, watching him get slammed against the counter and handcuffed. They take him away and I smile. I turn around, still smiling, and look at Connie. She has a few tears running down her face. “Connie, don’t cry. I’m going to make sure you, Mom, and Karen are taken care of when I grow up.” I walk over to her with a big smile on my face. “I’m going to be a cop.”

  I wake up and look over to see Becca sound asleep. We’ve been together now for eight months. Once everything with Maddie settled down, I finally built up the nerve to ask Becca out to dinner. It started out slow. We were both afraid of getting hurt. She had dealt with a lot of heartache, and I didn’t want to add to that. I hadn’t been in a serious relationship in a long time, not since I had my heart smashed in pieces. We were together for almost three m
onths before we had sex, another thing I didn’t want to rush. Young, of course, gave me a bunch of shit, but I just reminded him how he went without sex to land Maddie. He made sure to rub it in my face that they had sex plenty of times before that. Such an asshole. I close my eyes and think about our first date.

  With my heart beating out of my chest, I knocked on Becca’s door with one hand while holding yellow roses in the other. I’m taking her out to this romantic Italian restaurant. I can’t believe, after all this time of wanting her, I am finally getting a chance. The door pulls open slowly, and there stands Becca looking absolutely stunning. She has on a pale blue sleeveless dress that flows down to her knees. Her short brown hair is straightened and hanging perfectly around her beautiful face. She has more makeup on then usual and a shy smile on her face. “You look gorgeous, Becca.” She gets a light blush on her cheeks, and I lean in to kiss her. I can’t help myself; I’m drawn to her. I pull back and notice her blush is darker. I want to pull her to me and slam my mouth to hers, but I’ve made a promise to myself to take this slow. I hand her the flowers, and she steps aside to let me in.

  “You look amazing, Dick.” I give her a wink and follow her into the kitchen while she looks for a vase for the flowers. I have on dark jeans and a blue button-down shirt. I’ve been told that it makes my blue eyes pop.

  “Thank you. Are you almost ready?” I don’t want to rush her, but I don’t feel like dealing with Young’s mouth just yet. She finishes arranging the flowers and turns around smiling.

  “I’m ready. Thank you for the beautiful flowers.” She walks over to grab her purse and I smile.

  “You’re welcome.” The front door opens, and Maddie comes in with Young. Fuck.

  “Oh shit, did we make it in time to see you two kids go off on your first date?” I shoot him a look of ‘shut the fuck up,’ and he laughs. “Holy fuck, did you guys plan to match each other? Is this the fucking prom? Where the hell is Becca’s corsage, Dickhead?” He is laughing hysterically at himself, and I want to punch him in the mouth.

  “Young, shut the hell up. You guys look amazing.” I give Maddie a wink and grab Becca’s hand.

  “Fuck off Young. Talk to you later, Maddie.” We walk out of the apartment hand in hand.

  Becca starts to stir next to me, and it pulls me out of my thoughts. She opens her soft brown eyes and smiles at me. “Why are you up already?” I glance at the clock and notice it is only five o’clock.

  “Just couldn’t sleep. Come here.” I pull her tiny body to me, and she cuddles close laying her head on my chest. I kiss the top of her head and rub small circles on her back. “Go back to sleep.” She doesn’t even respond, so I know she’s drifted off already. She’s been working day and night on a case. Lately, we only see each other when she’s leaving for work, and I’m coming home. Last night was the first night in weeks we spent more than a few hours together. It’s been difficult to say the least. I close my eyes and try to get some sleep since I work tonight. I begin to think about the first time we had sex.

  We are walking home from the bar with everyone. Campbell has his arm wrapped around Kenz, Young is giving Maddie a piggyback ride, and I’m holding Becca’s hand. It’s been just about three months since we officially started dating. We have fooled around plenty of times, gotten hot and heavy, but we haven’t had sex yet. I’m looking to change that tonight. It’s been far too long since I’ve had sex; my dick is in need of attention. I pull her a little closer and wrap my arm around her. “Becca, come back to my place tonight. I’d really love for you to spend the night.” She looks up at me with her beautiful smile.

  “I’d love to.” I feel like this walk home is going to be the longest walk of my life.

  “Who wants to play strip poker?” I can’t help but laugh at how fucking stupid Young is.

  “Young, how many times do we seriously have to tell you no?” Campbell yells over the laughter.

  “Bunch of fucking pussies, all of you. I guess I’ll just have to play with Maddie. She likes looking at my massive cock.” Campbell and I burst out laughing, and Becca shakes her head.

  “Young, you are lucky we love you, you disgusting pig,” Kenz says through fits of laughter. I love these people as much as I love my mom and sisters. I would do anything for them; they are my extended family. I’ve been trying to get my mom and sisters to move out here, but they just won’t leave my worthless father.

  “You alright?” I look down at Becca and see concern on her face. Shit, I don’t want her to worry about me. I plaster a smile on my face and quickly kiss her lips.

  “I’m perfect.” My thoughts drift back to wanting Becca in my bed tonight for more than just sleep. We finally make it back to the apartment, and while the others head over to the girls for a few more drinks, Becca and I head to my place.

  Once inside, I close the door behind us and spin her around so she is facing me. I gently kiss her lips and look into her honey eyes. “Becca, I am hoping that you understood what I meant when I said I wanted to come back here?” She smiles at me and pushes up on her toes to kiss me. She pulls away before I can deepen the kiss.

  “Dick, I knew exactly what you meant.” My cock twitches with the realization that we are finally going to have sex. I just want to make sure this isn’t too fast. I never want her to feel like she needs to. I pull her to me, and we wrap our arms around each other.

  “Becca, are you sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured or regret anything.” She squeezes me a little tighter.

  “I’m positive.” I lift her up, and she wraps her legs around me. I carry her to the bedroom and gently lay her on the bed. I climb on top of her and push her hair off her face. I gently kiss her lips and pull back.

  “Becca, I love you.” A tear rolls down her cheek, and I brush it away with my thumb.

  “I love you too.”

  I didn’t plan on saying to Becca that I love her. It just came out, but I’m pretty sure I love her. I crash my lips to hers, and we slowly begin to take each other’s clothes off. She has on a pale green bra and matching panties, which makes my already hard cock strain against the confines of my boxers. I worship her body like I have on so many nights leading up to this one. She lets out a moan when my lips graze her wet panties. I look up to find her taking her bra off.

  “Fuck, Becca, you are making it really difficult to take my time.” She lifts her head to look at me. I’m blown away from the lust I see on her face.

  “Dick, we’ve taken our time. Don’t make me wait any longer.” Well, fuck me. This is a side I’ve never seen before, which is a major turn on. I like it rough in bed, and I sure as fuck hope Becca does too. I won’t do that tonight though; tonight will be special.

  I pull her panties off, and then my boxers. I run my finger through her dripping pussy and push two fingers into her tight heat. She arches off the bed, moaning.

  “Please, Dick! I don’t need this. I want you.” I smile at her begging.

  “You need to let me make sure you are ready for me. I can’t just slam into you. I’ll hurt you, and I don’t want to do that.” She gives a whimper of a protest until I start to fuck her with my fingers. She moves her hips, so I lean forward and suck her nub into my mouth and she explodes immediately, screaming my name. I climb up her tiny body, kissing her soft skin along the way. I reach over to my nightstand, grab a condom out, and quickly roll it on. I position myself at her entrance and notice she has her eyes closed. “Becca, open your eyes.” She slowly opens them, and I lean forward to kiss her delicate lips. I pull back because I want to watch her as we have sex for the first time. “You ready?” She nods her head, still looking in my eyes. I slowly start to push into her, and she digs her nails into my arms. I immediately stop.

  “You’re not hurting me. Keep going.” I have to believe her because if there is no trust in a relationship, there is nothing. I slowly push all the way in, but once I’m there, I need to hold still. It’s been so long, I could literally come just from being wrapped in he
r tight heat. Once I gain control again, I begin to slowly move in and out of her. “Oh God, it feels so good. Move faster.” That’s all it takes. I begin to really start pumping my hips, and she is meeting me thrust for thrust. The faster I move, the more she is moaning, which makes me move that much faster. I lean forward and suck a pebbled nipple into my mouth causing her to scream. I repeat it to her other nipple and am rewarded with that sexy scream again. I pull back, grab a hold of her hips, and really begin to fuck her. She throws her head back and digs her nails into my forearms. “Oh God.” She screams, and I know she is close. I reach between us and rub her sensitive nub. “Shit!”

  “Fuck, Becca, you feel amazing.” I am so close to coming when I feel her pussy tighten around me. I pump my hips faster and pinch her clit.

  “Oh God, shit.” Just as she falls over the edge, I follow right behind.

  “Fuck!” We ride out our orgasms, and I fall on top of her, keeping most of my weight on my arms so I don’t hurt her. I kiss her slowly, and we wrap our arms around each other. I roll over so she is lying on top of me. I manage to get the condom off before we both fall sound asleep in each other’s arms.

  The beeping of my alarm breaks me out of my sleep. I didn’t even realize I had drifted back off. I open my eyes to an empty bed. Well, empty except for a note on Becca’s pillow.

  I rub my face and sigh. What else is new? She’s always working. We both are, if I’m being honest. It’s hard being on opposite sides of the law. I put the assholes away, and she defends them. It unfortunately has caused many unwanted fights. I know we both love our jobs, and we both feel we are doing what is best, but I just don’t understand how she can defend some of these pieces of shit. This case she is so busy working on is with a guy that I arrested. It was a hit and run causing the death of a woman. I got the plate number, the vehicle, and the guy’s description. He tried to hide in an alley, but we finally found him. He fled the vehicle and ran. After I caught up with him and arrested him, he cried at the precinct saying he didn’t mean to do it. A full confession, but he lawyered up, and son of a bitch if it wasn’t with my girlfriend. She is using the defense that he was pushed into making that confession, and he only ran because he had a joint on him. It’s been stressful. I push thoughts of that asshole out of my mind, jump up, and throw my running clothes on.